I am tired of hearing people whining about what they can’t do:

I can’t lose weight.

I can’t make ends meet

I can’t figure out how to get my computer to (fill in blank).

I’m tired of listening to it.  Here is what I would like to hear:

I can’t stop exercising and finding new low cal foods I like.

I can’t stop finding new ways to save money.

I can’t figure out how to get my computer to (fill in blank).

(That last one is the same because I work on computers.  You not figuring out your computer is my lively-hood.)

Shut your mouth.  Stop complaining.  I work with people that spend an hour complaining about how they always have to stay an extra half hour to get their work done.  SHUT YOUR MOUTH!  Do the work with your mouth closed.  You will get done 30 minutes early every night.  Shut your mouth and take ACTION.

Get off of your ass.  Focus on DOING the task, not the NEED TO DO the task.  Focus on NEXT STEP, Not ALL OF THE STEPS at once.  Just get off your ass and do the next step.  Walk that next flight of stairs.  Read the next 5 pages of the self help book (I prefer the Bible. It has everything from diet to finance to exercise.  Check it out.).  Get off your ass and take ACTION.

One of the words that I can’t stand is “try”.  Try is the word that guarantees success.  Here is an example of how “try” works.

Lets say your goal is to try and lose 25 pounds.  You start eating things that have the words “Low Fat” printed on their wrapper.  You get a gym membership. You do everything right for about 5 weeks and it looks like the things you have tried are paying off.  You’ve lost 10 pounds.  Then you begin to lose focus.  It’s your birthday and you eat too much cake and have too many appletinies.  You sleep late the next day you don’t go to the gym.  The only thing that sounds good to eat is some greasy Mexican food.  You tell yourself “I’ll work twice as hard tomorrow.  Taking a few days off won’t hurt.”  Within a month you are eating McDonald’s drive-through for breakfast every morning and the gym calls and tells you to pick up the contents of your locker.  Congratulations!  You have just succeeded in your goal.  Your goal was to “try and lose 25 pounds”.  You did it!  You tried!  Goal completed.  Just because you tried and failed doesn’t mean you didn’t reach you goal, which was…anyone…anyone…you in the back…YES, the goal was to “try”.  Not “do”, but “try”.

Shut your mouth.  Don’t eat that second, third and fourth piece of cake.  Have one appletini followed by water.  Keep your mouth shut and you won’t put things in it and unfortunate words will not come out of it.

Stay off of your ass.  Don’t celebrate sitting down.  Dance.  Walk and talk with friends.  Party at the water park.  I don’t care as long as you are moving.  OK, let’s say you had your 4th appletini, the tequila your friend’s boyfriend bought you and that Jägermeister from the guy at the end of the bar that two hours ago you thought was a dweeb but not was looking pretty hot.  I don’t care how bad you feel, you have to go to the gym the next day.  If you over imbibe, start over with your diet and exercise routine.  In fact start over every day, every meal, every flight of stairs.  Tell yourself “I’m am starting my new diet right now.” “I am starting my new exercise regimen now.”  You always feel good and positive the first day you start something.  Start it right now…and now…and

You best teach that which you most need to learn…or something like that.

When I was in the military I had a supervisor that was an NCO (non-commissioned officer).  When our shop needed training in something he would pick the most inexperienced person to teach the class.  If it was training on a piece of equipment he would pick the person who needed the most training and give them a week to become an expert.  Then they had to teach everyone else.  That is what you have to do.  You have to become the expert.  Expert enough to teach the others around you that ask “How did you lose that weight?” or “How did you get that new job?” or “Who fixed your computer?” (For the last one just give them my card.)

Open your mouth.  Learn, teach, encourage, learn.  You should spend more time learning than on any other activity.  Fortunately everything you do is a learning opportunity.

Some things require step by step instructions to work well, like, lets say, brain surgery.  It wouldn’t do to make the first incision before the anesthesia was given.  Other things don’t need step by steps.  They need generalized “hows”, like how to lose weight by consuming less and burning more calories.  In fact if you give someone a specific list of steps they will often give up when they have failed at just one of the steps.  If they miss that one day at the gym or do poorly on one test, they are failures and give up.  Teach them to start over, every day, every meal, every flight of stairs.

Become your own expert.  Every self-help guru started knowing nothing and developed their new technique of how to succeed.  Become that expert.  Develop that technique.  Here is something that might help you in doing that.  Pick an energizing word.  Lets use POWER.  Now use the first letter of each word to represent an action to move you toward success.  Let’s try it.

Plan - Write down your goal and what needs to change to make it a reality.

Observe - Look at each thing you do and decide whether it is taking you to your goal.

Walk - Both literally and figuratively.  Walk through each action in your mind. Visualize then Actualize.

Energize - Give that vision energy.  Picture yourself accomplishing that goal.  Feed that energy into your actions.

Realize - put the POWER to work and make your goal happen.

or

Purpose - Look within.  What is the purpose of what you want to do.  Knowing makes all of the difference.

Organize - Clean your life. Remove those things not in line with your purpose.

Whittle - Cut away the distractions from your life.  Making your life lean can make it rich.

Evaluate - Determine if you are on course to your goal.  If not adjust and reevaluate.

Respond - When obstacles occur respond by using your POWER to stay on goal.

or any other group of actions that start with those letters.

Get others off of their ass.  This doesn’t have to be about diet and exercise.  It can be about anything.  School, work, relationships, juggling (a very good exercise by the way).  Encourage those who ask to get off of their ass and take action.

It drives me nuts when someone says “I would love to do (fill in blank) but I just don’t know how.”  What they are really saying is “I don’t know how and I am completely unwilling to spend the time and energy to find out.”  My Mom says to me from time to time “I wish I would exercise more but I don’t have anyone to exercise with.”  Which is the same as saying “I wish I would exercise more but I don’t have anyone to exercise with. Oh, and by the way, I am unwilling to find anyone to exercise with.”  I offer to walk with her but she is always too tired or has something else to do.  No offense Mom but…Shut your mouth and get off your ass (said with Love).

That is it.  3 Steps to success.  I guess there is just one thing left to do…See Step 1!